The Beat of My Heart

A New Year and a Snow Day

And so it deepens. A new year. A new start.

I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am, I am, I am.

Sylvia Plath

Time to renew, to restore, to plant the seeds of my intention, to break free from the bindings of the year before and move into an even deeper state of clarity. Life unwinds in a difficult path. I’m glad I chose the road less traveled. Freedom, challenge, heartache and new love all come together to create such a rich tapestry of being. I am letting go of the hollowing grief – grief melts into something softer. My mother. Wow, it still doesn’t seem real. I hold a deep belief close to my heart, that she is with me still. If I close my eyes and ask – and listen very closely – she is there. She is there with her arms wrapped around me, with a sweet kiss on my cheek and an “everything will be ok”. As a dear friend stated “there is a new angel on your side.”

Life goes on, grief subsides and the heart slowly heals. The void is replaced with a dull ache  and hope blooms again.